Even as I write this, I feel rather embarrassed. It’s almost like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Like I’m a whiny child. I feel I ought to not let it affect me. To be the bigger person and forgive and forget and all that jazz. So why am I letting petty problems…
Tag: God
When Faith Dies
*This post was first published on Indiaanya. 2021 was the worst year in all my 39 years on this planet. It ripped me apart in more ways than one. It tore through my defences. It attacked my marriage and children. But, worst of all – it disintegrated my faith. It left me adrift and lonely,…
Desperate Longing
Psalm 130 is a heart cry. From the depths of desperation and pain, the psalmist pens a prayer that has echoed the heart cries of thousands of God’s children down the ages. I love this psalm for its honesty and transparency. This prayer lays it all out there and pleads, this is me—sin-riddled and depraved—now…
Even If
My heart is so heavy. Oh Lord, I don’t understand the terrible finality of death. I don’t understand Your will. Why do some live and others don’t? Why are some prayers answered while others aren’t? Some healed; others not. Sorrow and anguish tear me apart. I’m sinking Lord. Now I see what a terrible evil…
The Solitary Journey
The path is narrow treacherous, slippery. The road is long arduous, lonely. The yawning abyss – dark, menacing. The shadowed valley – murky, disturbing. Eyes downcast; heart’s discouraged. Thoughts dismayed; soul’s disheartened. Suddenly, a shaft of light breaks through the fog. Myths and legends, swirl in the mists. White spires, golden halls “and beyond them…
Last Time
It will be The last time Pain courses through my veins Despair drags down my soul Grief rips apart my heart It will be The last time Fear chains my mind Anger fuels my words Doubt shakes my faith It will be The last time Shame washes over me Guilt hinders my progress Disobedience robs…
Claiming Your Legacy
**This post was first published on Indiaanya **The following is a fictional narrative based on the story of Achsah in the Bible** Abel Shittim. Plains of Moab. 1406 BC “This is it. We’re finally crossing over! Father, can you believe this day has finally come?” The young girl stood excitedly on the banks of the river…
Be Broken
Be shattered Like alabaster Be broken Be willing To let go To die If need be Shards lie Cold Brittle Jagged Raw Numb this pain! Stop this anguish! My God! My God! I don’t understand. Yet, I know this In the shattering Is Immanuel God with me Holding the pieces So Be shattered Be broken…
Convince Me – Please?
Weary of struggling against You Tired of fighting You Exhausted with striving I’m done, Lord. There are so many ‘Ifs’ and even more ‘Buts’ Doubts are clamouring My mind seems to be in a whirl Questions race Answers elude I’ve been aching For all I’ve lost My heart hurts, Lord. Is this grief? This inability…
The Set of the Sail
“We cannot know God by thinking alone, but we can never know Him very well without a lot of hard thinking.” – Aiden Wilson Tozer Have you ever met a writer who made you think? I’m not just talking about letting your imagination soar but rather, someone whose words really made you sit up and…
Are You Willing?
“Are you willing?” You asked And I, all unafraid, said yes, of course! I was praying for revival, a shaking up of the Church, a desire for deeper intimacy with You. Then I heard You ask me the question again—quietly and solemnly—”Are you willing?” And this time, something told me to beware, to think this…
Yahweh
Stay quiet. Shhh. Listen to that silence. Calm the fears. Rest those thoughts. Be still. He is here. Who? The one who rides the heavens Who stops the fury of the seas with sand Who hangs the world on nothing Who leaves cloud dust when He walks Who hears the song of the morning stars…
The Plague Song
Help, Lord God, help in this trouble! I think death is at the door. Stand before me, Christ, for You have overcome him. To You I cry: If it is Your will, take out the dart that wounds me, nor lets me have an hour’s rest or repose. Will You, however, that death take me…
Whispers of Desperation
Lord, forgive my feebleness; my panic-riddled heart that urges me to run away. I know my faults and weaknesses. And fear that they will be revealed. I feel like a hypocrite and dread the future. I know all the masks I wear. All that I pretend to be. Why, O Lord, are you pushing me…
A Hope-filled Perspective
Interesting thought popped into my mind today as it is wont to do from time to time. The Lord works in mysterious ways after all! I read this very very familiar portion in 1 Samuel 16:7, But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I…
Embraced By Vastness
I caught a glimpse today of expanse unending. Infinite. Illimitable. And found all that vastness, minutely focused on this finite self. Enfolded close in arms that encompass eternity, I’m humbled, broken, hopeful, joyful. Completely out of depth. Absolutely unfamiliar. Uncharted seas stretch out, limitlessly. Yet there’s no fear; only a growing excitement. For I have…
On Being Pruned…
Pruning is never fun. I’m not discussing gardening activities but rather the spiritual season. The funny thing is, I didn’t even recognise it for what it was. I just assumed I was being bombarded by trials and knew I was barely staying afloat, let alone swimming against the current (I’ve got all my metaphors mixed…
The Heart of Mission
**This post first appeared on Indiaanya** Mission-mindedness. I have to confess that I am not the most mission-minded person on the planet. Honestly, it is not something that comes naturally to me. I have always been awed by missionaries and evangelists because they seem to have such a clear call that they obey, regardless of…
The Ol’ Ball And Chain
I’ve been married more than a decade now and I have a confession to make. I am a nagging wife. This is not something I am proud of but sometimes it’s a compulsion, an urge that I cannot ignore. It’s almost like I’m addicted to it. Yet, when I got married, I had such good…
Fighting Fear
When fear paralyses, unhinging sanity, I find myself adrift, lost and alone. I plead for clarity; some assurance of safety. But instead You ask me to lean on Your certainty. To trust Your sovereignty. To believe Your ability. It is not easy, what You’re asking of me. But Lord, I want to believe; so help…
inkhorn 