*This article was first published on Indiaanya. We’re almost midway through this year and as I look back over the last four months, I can only stand amazed at what God has begun doing in my life. It seems a bit surreal to say this but I’m an artist. It still feels extremely new and…
Tag: myself
Are You Willing?
“Are you willing?” You asked And I, all unafraid, said yes, of course! I was praying for revival, a shaking up of the Church, a desire for deeper intimacy with You. Then I heard You ask me the question again—quietly and solemnly—”Are you willing?” And this time, something told me to beware, to think this…
On Being Pruned…
Pruning is never fun. I’m not discussing gardening activities but rather the spiritual season. The funny thing is, I didn’t even recognise it for what it was. I just assumed I was being bombarded by trials and knew I was barely staying afloat, let alone swimming against the current (I’ve got all my metaphors mixed…
Fighting Fear
When fear paralyses, unhinging sanity, I find myself adrift, lost and alone. I plead for clarity; some assurance of safety. But instead You ask me to lean on Your certainty. To trust Your sovereignty. To believe Your ability. It is not easy, what You’re asking of me. But Lord, I want to believe; so help…
What’s The Rush?
I wish I could grab Time by the shirt tails and get him to stand still. Life seems to be rushing past; I can barely catch my breath. I have so many half-done and undone jobs that I feel like my mind will explode. So many balls in the air that some are definitely going…
The Heart of the Matter
Bitterness springs up so easily, destroying every aspect of a relationship. It clouds one’s perspective until all one can see is the perceived maliciousness in the other’s words and actions. As I wondered what caused bitterness to rise up in me, I realised it was a defensive reaction to feeling hurt or slighted by another’s…
Dawdling Along
With my 8th month almost ending, things are beginning to slow down rather than speed up, which is rather annoying. To begin with, since I’ve cleaned out every conceivable storage space in my house, packed my hospital bag, bought all baby essentials, and prepared (as much as possible) for any eventuality, there is basically nothing…
The Conversation
My Soul met my Mind and said: S: Stop it! M: What do you mean? S: What you’re thinking right now… Just stop. M: (defensively) But I’m not thinking anything in particular. S: Yes you are. That’s why you’re feeling negative and frustrated. M: Umm… You don’t understand all that I have on my plate…
The Balm
Pain is a terrible tormentor. Sometimes when I’m in acute physical pain because of this illness, I’m filled with all kinds of unhappy thoughts – there is anger, mixed with fear and self-pity, and the outpouring of that unholy mess are faithless, bitter, sinful words. As I was tossing and turning and trying to find…
Trivial Pursuits
I’m not really a crafty person. Before you begin wondering if I’m refusing to accept a charge of being duplicitous or devious, let me clarify that I’m disavowing any claim of craftsmanship. However I do enjoy working with my hands. Whether this be working on a jigsaw puzzle, painting a paint-by-numbers canvas, sketching or colouring in…
Contemplating The Challenge
We’re on the home stretch now. Only three more days to go. This 50-Day Writing Challenge began as something to motivate me to be disciplined about writing. Since then it has morphed into an avenue to process and express my thoughts and emotions. Additionally, it has helped me see beyond writing for the sake of writing….
Heart Cries
Oh Lord, forgive me. Forgive me for not wanting to obey You. For wanting my own way. For allowing fear and anger to rule me. For the unkind thoughts and words. For the lack of love. For all that does not glorify You, I’m sorry! Please change me Father because I cannot. This hard, bitter…
On The Night Before Christmas
It’s Christmas Eve. All is quiet. Everyone’s asleep; except the baby kicking inside me. I think of all the Christmases that have gone before. And the ones waiting ahead with bated breath. So much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. But most of all, remembering that I have a Reason…
The Maternal Instinct
They tore through me suddenly – Rage and fury – refusing to answer mildly To the instigation. Primitive instincts perhaps But nothing to be ashamed of, regardless. It’s a mother’s instinct To protect, shield, keep from harm -even verbal, especially verbal… Even if the abuser is a child That does not excuse the abuse Especially…
Packing Woes
Feet aching; arms drooping I sit, thinking, Debating If its worth continuing. But someone has to do the packing So I better not be thumb-twiddling; Instead, get all the clothing, Ready for travelling. Two bags to begin with Have swelled to four. MD will not be pleased. Oh well! He should be glad there aren’t…
The Insidiousness of Backbiting
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Proverbs 18:21 I wish I remembered this more often. It would save me a lot of remorse and compunction. I sometimes wonder why I’m unable to guard my tongue. Why do the negative words trip over themselves in rushing out? While encouraging, affirming words require…
The Sociable Introvert
They say that one never truly appreciates something until it is no longer there. I would have to agree. Let me explain. I’m an introvert. I love my solitude and guard it jealously. Silence and being alone, replenishes me mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I do have friends but I do not need them to…
Small Mercies
The weirdest sensation would have to be hoisted on your own petard. Perhaps that’s too drastic a depiction. What I’m trying to describe is the sensation of holding forth virtuously, confident of your own ‘rightness’, only to find that you’ve made an error in judgement. Not a very pleasant place to be, believe me! The…
inkhorn 