These are dark days indeed that we are living in. Every day more news of horror and despair, death and destruction. The life we lived in 2019 seems like a dream. And surrounded by all that is painful and appalling, that insidious liar—Fear—has been having a field day in my mind. Fear of the future,…
Tag: fear
Convince Me – Please?
Weary of struggling against You Tired of fighting You Exhausted with striving I’m done, Lord. There are so many ‘Ifs’ and even more ‘Buts’ Doubts are clamouring My mind seems to be in a whirl Questions race Answers elude I’ve been aching For all I’ve lost My heart hurts, Lord. Is this grief? This inability…
Are You Willing?
“Are you willing?” You asked And I, all unafraid, said yes, of course! I was praying for revival, a shaking up of the Church, a desire for deeper intimacy with You. Then I heard You ask me the question again—quietly and solemnly—”Are you willing?” And this time, something told me to beware, to think this…
Whispers of Desperation
Lord, forgive my feebleness; my panic-riddled heart that urges me to run away. I know my faults and weaknesses. And fear that they will be revealed. I feel like a hypocrite and dread the future. I know all the masks I wear. All that I pretend to be. Why, O Lord, are you pushing me…
Fighting Fear
When fear paralyses, unhinging sanity, I find myself adrift, lost and alone. I plead for clarity; some assurance of safety. But instead You ask me to lean on Your certainty. To trust Your sovereignty. To believe Your ability. It is not easy, what You’re asking of me. But Lord, I want to believe; so help…
Ready And Waiting
So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:6 This is one of those verses in the Bible that sound so familiar that they are overlooked or fall by the wayside due to overuse. Even as I read it the other day,…
The Conversation
My Soul met my Mind and said: S: Stop it! M: What do you mean? S: What you’re thinking right now… Just stop. M: (defensively) But I’m not thinking anything in particular. S: Yes you are. That’s why you’re feeling negative and frustrated. M: Umm… You don’t understand all that I have on my plate…
A True Treasure
The little worries which we meet each day May lie as stumbling-blocks across our way, Or we may make them stepping-stones to be Of grace, O Lord, to Thee. -A. E. Hamilton Sometimes, as I pass through days of calm serenity, a sudden jolt—a thought—can set me back apace. One thought leads to another, and…
Finding Peace
I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy hormones or the fact that I’m now in my third trimester but recently, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and worried by all that the future holds. I think of all that is going to change in the new year and I’ve just been burdened by a sense of my…
On Railing…
Frankly, I am not enjoying this process! Fear has not been conquered and worry has not been vanquished. My immediate reaction was to unworthily fling back my Father’s love in His face and weep uncontrollably. I find that this lack of control over my life has left me demoralized. I am an easy prey to…
A Plea…
Aches and pains, Fears and cares; Some real, Some hidden, Most, not even there. Burdened by this life; I need some respite. I remember him; With a little envy perhaps. He’s cut loose, He’s free! Why him And not me? Understanding, I don’t claim; Nor any clarity. Where to, from here, Lord? I’m tired, help…
On Finding Peace…
“I heard you in the secret place of the storm. In the secret place among the unspoken things, there am I.”* So I’d reached the point of no return. In the silence, stripped of all platitudes, finally it was just Him and I. No pretence. No highfalutin nonsense. Just the plain truth. He listened patiently…
On Hitting Rock Bottom…
One of the things that changed over the past few months was the way I saw God. Up till this moment, my faith in Him had been unshaken. Even in times of testing, I’d always had the underlying belief that God would be good to me. “Good” obviously, as I saw “goodness” – with things…
On Not Being Alone…
Through the lows, I’ve gone from one random thought to the next. Emotions and feelings swinging wildly like a pendulum, but always in silence. There is no love. No desire to serve. No hope. Only a foolish longing for things to go back to the way they were. Followed, unfailingly, by the guilt, for allowing…
On Letting Go…
So I stand at the threshold of another crossroad. And I find myself struggling with this new avenue. I want to jump up and fight for my rights. I’m fearful of the future. Worst case scenarios crowd my mind and I feel life slipping out of my control. Fear and anger take over and I…
On Thinking Right…
There are times when I know what I’m thinking is wrong. My mind turns into a playground for all and sundry to walk in; one thought leads to another and I find myself spiralling downward into a hell of my very own making. It’s frustrating and painful to say nothing of being highly unnecessary! I…
On Epiphanies…
Fear and Worry – that two-headed monster that rears its ghastly head periodically – was at it again. It’s sibling, Doubt, flit in as well, to add to the party! And as frustrating as it was for me to wage this never-ending battle to subdue them, I wondered how frustrating it must be for God…
On Living A Victorious Life…
A verse in Isaiah stopped me in my tracks the other day. It was fairly innocuous on the face of it, but as I stayed my mind and eyes, and looked beyond the printed words, I felt like I’d been douched with a bucket of cold water and warmed by a crackling fire, all at…
On Doubt…
When the Promised Land is in sight and things seem to be progressing towards a natural conclusion, that’s when you’re pulled up in your tracks and life hands you a set of incomprehensibly, painful situations. As confusion and doubt war in my mind, I find that nothing is secure. All I believed was solid and…
On Faith And Reason…
So faith is the evidence of things not seen, the hope of things to come. Yet, I find that I am struggling to have faith, and believe in God. I know that He will bring what He has promised, to pass. But my fear is that I wouldn’t like it, or it wouldn’t be as…
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