Weary of struggling against You

Tired of fighting You

Exhausted with striving

I’m done, Lord.

There are so many ‘Ifs’ and even more ‘Buts’

Doubts are clamouring

My mind seems to be in a whirl

Questions race

Answers elude

I’ve been aching

For all I’ve lost

My heart hurts, Lord.

Is this grief?

This inability to weep

This cold, hard weight

That masquerades as a heart?

Kneeling, heart-sore and dry-eyed

I’m asking in anguished desperation –

If You are the one who holds my future

If Your love is worth searching for.

If You are the One,

If You are the treasure,

If You are the Lord.

Then won’t You come and break this old heart of stone.

Start a fire in these broken bones.

Here’s my soul it has been exposed to You.

Oh God of ages past,

Convince my heart at last.

Come tell me of all I have in You.*

*From the song ‘God of Ages Past’ by Shane and Shane

Photo by Alec Douglas on Unsplash