I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy hormones or the fact that I’m now in my third trimester but recently, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and worried by all that the future holds. I think of all that is going to change in the new year and I’ve just been burdened by a sense of my own incapability and lack of strength. I worry about the delivery, about how my daughter will cope, whether I have the wisdom to parent another child (what if it’s a boy! I have no experience in raising a boy!), about whether our house has the space, whether I’ll lose the weight soon or not – oh the list is endless. Most of these fears are irrational and unfounded. Yet, my mind has been swirling with all these unpleasant thoughts, making me apprehensive and beleaguered.

Finally, thoroughly fed up with myself, I prayed a couple of nights back – just seeking some sense of hope in all my confusion. And the Lord led me to this verse – “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength.” (Isaiah 26:3, 4)

Those words were a balm to my soul. I was being offered “perfect peace” – it sounded so blissful. “But how do I make my mind stay on You, Lord,” I asked. That was my original problem –my mind kept straying to every possible worst-case scenario. So how to remain rested in God when my mind was refusing to comply?

The Lord pointed out the word “trust” and asked me what I trusted in – Him or the problems and worries. That took a while to answer because honestly, it was so much easier to worry and brood over all the things that could go wrong, than trust in God’s goodness and faithfulness. He put it succinctly in Isaiah 30:12 – “You despise this word and trust in oppression and perversity and rely on them.” Blunt, but true!

So I asked Him how does one go about trusting in Him; easier to ask the source than try to figure it out on my own! And again, the answer was simple and straightforward – “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15) Essentially, He gave me four practical tips –

1. Return: Come back to the place where I had been when my focus was on God and I had found complete satisfaction in Him alone.
2. Rest: Stop striving and working to ensure everything happens perfectly (or how I think it needs to be done).
3. Be quiet: Silence the voices of fear and worry in my mind by remembering the promises of God.
4. Be confident: Allow the assurance and certainty that He is still in control and He will take care—whatever the future may hold—to strengthen my conviction.

So that is where I am currently. Every time I feel fear whisper its lies in my mind or worry creep up and tap me on the shoulder, I consciously and intentionally remember what the Bible says and hold on to God – rather like how a drowning man clings to a lifeline! He has never lied before and He won’t start now. So my hope and trust rests in Him as I face all that 2019 has in store for me.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash