I experienced a strange sensation today.

My daughter, who is currently nursing a terrible cold, was snuggling next to me as I lay on my bed. As I put my arms around her little body and hugged her close, my arms suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu. It was so unusual it stopped me for a minute. Then I realised what I was feeling – a sense of returning to a long forgotten place, of homecoming, of deep satisfaction, of belonging. I had been here before, but it seemed like forever since the last time.

I am naturally not a very physically demonstrative person. My go-to method of expressing my affection is a word of affirmation (harking back to my love language). Yet, when my daughter was born almost five years ago, I suddenly found untold depths within myself where I could easily cuddle and hug the little baby in my arms. It was never an effort of will.

Yet, over the years, as my baby grew up into a little girl, I found myself holding her close less and less. It just didn’t come naturally to me anymore; I preferred talking to her and giving her encouragement and positive affirmation through words. She accepted it happily enough – I don’t think she would understand if I tried to explain love languages to her!

Yet today was a jolt out of the blue.

I suddenly realised all that I had been missing by unconsciously robbing myself of the joy of hugging my child! What a waste of time. By staying in my comfort zone of expressing my love only in ways that came naturally to me, I was rejecting a vital part of my daughter’s personality – her wish to express her love for me in a way that was natural to her.

I’m glad for that little heavenly nudge today because, thankfully, it’s never too late to change. So here’s to more hugs and cuddles and wet kisses and sticky fingers!

 

 

Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash