That’s such a complex question, isn’t it? It looks deceptively simple, but it packs a punch. It asks so much of you. Forces you to dig deeper. To examine all those niggling thoughts and frissons of emotions. To go through your heart, soul, and mind with a fine tooth comb.

It’s uncomfortable.

And I dislike ‘uncomfortable’.

I’d rather have my act together. Tell, or rather show, folks I’m doing fine. Because honestly, I don’t think most people would want to know how I actually am doing. Unqualified candour makes people uncomfortable.  And then you just end up with a bunch of folks sitting in awkward silence.

But who said an awkward silence was necessarily a bad thing? Sometimes it’s good to feel ill-at-ease and embarrassed. To be thrown out of your comfort zone. To feel so vulnerable and helpless, that all you can do is be absolutely honest. In that moment, you can’t give a slick reply or a pat answer.

So silence it is.

After the tongue-tied gaucherie has settled a bit, talk.

So, how am I, really?

Thoughts jostle in my mind
So much has happened
In such a brief span
I want to quieten down
Process each emotion
Examine each sensation
Scrutinize each feeling

But I'm stuck.

What troubles me the most
Is the fact how I'm not allowed
To savour each moment
To cherish each memory
To enjoy each minute
Of this life-changing event.

Every time something good happens
You barge in and take over
With all your complaints
With all your negativity
With all your superstition

You don't care about what I'm experiencing
But rather make everything about you
How is it that I'm stuck being annoyed with you?
When I'd rather not think about you at all!

Honestly sometimes I really hate you.

I'm stuck, cause I can't ignore you
Can't walk away from you
Can't pretend you don't exist

Oh Lord, please help
I'm desperate
Only a miracle can save us now

Step into this mess
This terrible train wreck of relationships
This travesty of emotions

Heal. Restore. Renew.

Send us a miracle today!

That about sums it up.

 

Photo by Pongsawat Pasom on Unsplash